everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The uberlube is also flammable
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If I had your ass I would rule the world
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize