She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
