I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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