No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
