Dual....:-)
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
