please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
