I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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