We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
