what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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