Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
