But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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