I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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