just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
