google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
