My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize