Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
