there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
