do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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