First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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