...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
