There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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