She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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