her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
