My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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