I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
