I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
