1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
