I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
