When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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