the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
