dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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