Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
