I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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