she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
