anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
