And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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