i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
