Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
