Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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