You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
