Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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