Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can I color on your dick again?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
