Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
