two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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