I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
