I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
