Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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