On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I am one with the molecules
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
