So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize