even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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