I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
