She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
