I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I currently don't understand fingers.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
