I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
it's like heaven, but drunker
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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