1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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