Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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