Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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