Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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