dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think I sprained my soul last night
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
