Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
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