I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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